The OCD Project

The beginning of my treatment journey began last summer when I received an email from my brother, Theo. I don't know that my reception of this particular email would have been welcomed had it come from anyone else. All Theo wrote to me was, "I think you should apply." Below his single sentence to me was an ad he had found looking for people struggling with OCD to receive free, intensive, professional therapy for three weeks while being filmed for a new documentary-style reality show. Long story short.... I applied, and a couple months later, I nervously walked into the house I would be living in for the next three weeks.

Seven months later, I nervously announce that "The OCD Project" will be airing this Thursday night, May 27th, at 10pm PST on VH1.

After applying and waiting to hear whether or not I would be selected to receive this help, I went back and forth as to whether or not this was the right avenue for me to get help for my OCD. My OCD was a struggle that I had kept secret, and to go public.....really public, with it, was not a decision to take lightly. I remember my mom telling me on the phone one day, "Kristen, you have to have a greater purpose for doing a show like this than to just get help for yourself. If your main objective is to just help yourself, I think the public exposure will be a little too difficult to handle, and we should look into alternatives to getting you help. If your purpose is to not only get help for yourself, but to create awareness as to what OCD is so that others can get help as well, then I think this is a great opportunity."

Although there are no words to express how eternally thankful I am for all the extremely professional help I received as a result of being on The OCD Project, I am still very nervous about the show airing. I've tried my best to be open and vulnerable via my blog throughout my entire treatment process since the show, but there is a different vulnerability that comes with sharing your life and your struggles on national television. I don't regret my decision to allow my journey to be filmed, but I know there are going to be plenty of moments that are extremely difficult for me to watch....even moments that I will probably regret. Nothing about my treatment journey has been easy, but it has been amazing. I am a different person today than I was seven months ago. I still struggle daily. OCD and depression continue to be a battle I fight, but I've been given powerful tools, and because of that, my spirit is learning to live freely...vulnerably.

The OCD Project is an 8 episode series that will air every Thursday night. There is no prize and there are no eliminations. It really is just a show that documents the journey of our treatment stay. It will also be available to watch on the internet at VH1.com. I will be blogging throughout the entire series, and will have a post up by Friday evening every week giving more detail into my life, my struggle with/victory over OCD, and possibly trying to redeem myself for any horribly embarrassing thing that I did or said. eeeek! :)

You may think I'm crazy at times, but I'm not, I just have OCD. :) So....watch the show if you want, read my blog, and learn the difference between the two......crazy and OCD, that is. :) I hope that my story will help other people struggling with their inner demons, whatever they may be, find the strength to get help and to be an advocate for their own free spirit.

And seriously, if you or someone you know plans on watching "The OCD Project" please read my blog as well. Think of it as a twofer (otherwise known as a two-for-one.) :)