Monday, November 23, 2009

Simple Love - My responses to letters from friends who have encouraged me with their words, inspired me by sharing their journey, and loved me simply.

(I will occasionally post portions of my responses but will try my best not to disclose any identifying information about the recipient.)

Dear Friend,
Thank you so much for your encouraging email!'s been a whirlwind!! My treatment in LA was definitely one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I didn't realize how much my compulsions had become my drug until I wasn't allowed to do them anymore! The "withdrawals" were literally....and still are....physically painful. It's a crazy, crazy disorder....literally! :) It was such a shock to my system to go from trying with all my power to hide my compulsions everyday, to having all 500 or so of them noticed and analyzed for a month straight. The first two weeks I struggled through some of the most intense shame and embarrassment I've ever experienced! And there was no place I could really go to do my compulsions privately. It was definitely intense. The only way I really got through it was realizing that I can turn this into something positive by helping to bring awareness and understanding to a disorder that is so misunderstood and misjudged.

Thank you so much for praying for me. It's pretty amazing....I am experiencing first hand, and am very aware, that God truly doesn't allow us to go through anything He doesn't believe we can handle. I've struggled with depression nearly my entire life, and I have not struggled with depression hardly at all through this whole process. My second day in treatment in LA I felt pretty depressed, and that's about it. I feel discouraged sometimes, but I wouldn't say I feel depressed at all. I truly believe it's because people are praying for me, so thank you very much!

Thanks for your prayers and sweet words of encouragement! It really means so much!!

Love always,

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